It's been a bit since I wrote anything anywhere last. It's tough without Hannah. She was my inspiration.
It's been a difficult few months. David had to take a HUGE pay cut in October to keep his job. God's been good and we've managed, but it hasn't been without some pretty scary moments. We're thankful he has a job!
I took a job working with disabled adults helping them secure employment. I love the job but it started out really slow financially. It has tremendous potential but it was slow starting. January is looking to be a take off kind of month and I'm thrilled about that. The job just keeps getting more and more interesting and fun for me and I'm so thankful for it. In November I started doing assessments which I loved doing and then in January we are actually going to start doing workshops which means I'll get to teach(which I love). I'm just thankful that I got this opportunity.
In November I started helping out at the CWJC(Christian Women's Job Corp) and I hope to continue to get to do that. It is an organization that helps needy women learn job and life skills. The women are amazing and I loved teaching or helping them learn Excel. It just does the heart good to get outside of yourself and help other people and these women were so fun to be around. Again, I'm thankful for the opportunity.
On January 18th I will start school again. I wasn't going to do it and then I decided there is never going to be a good time. Unfortunately the 18th is one day after Hannah's 1 year anniversary but we're just going to go with it and see what happens. There's no rule saying I can't quit if I can't handle it. Well, there is, but it's my rule, and those can be changed. I am pursuing psychology because I want to eventually help parents who have kids with disabilities. I want to direct them to resources, etc. That's my dream anyway. How or where I'll be able to do that we'll just have to see what doors God opens for me. I know he will.
This is a Christmas of firsts for me. For the first time in 19 years I have not entered a ToysRus or toy department of a store looking for Christmas gifts for my children. That may not sound like a big deal but it really is. Kids grow up and you transition from not buying toys. I just had to stop cold turkey. It's painful. I am working hard at being joyful and thankful and celebrative of the reason for the season. Still, I have not decorated my tree or shopped for a single gift. I have 3 days left. I keep thinking I'm gonna get it done and then I don't. I know it'll all come together and be fine. It's just tough. I'm reminded that my last amazing few weeks with Hannah were theses few weeks and it makes me miss her more than you'll ever imagine. I so wish she were here...but she's not. So, I'll focus as much as I can on the reason for the season and imagine the Birthday Party for Jesus that my Hannah gets to attend this year.
I took a few days for myself away from everything. I found a little cabin in the woods. I had no cell or internet service. It was just me, my Bible/books, a few movies, and God. I have to tell you that it was much needed. I worry so much about my emotions or reactions concerning missing Hannah and how they make my guys feel. It was just very necessary for me to be alone with those emotions and be able to express them without worrying about anyone else. It was just me. I left there feeling like I had gotten some things accomplished emotionally and planned to make it a regular occurrence. It would be the perfect spot to spend a week or two and get some real writing done. It was perfect. I'll post some pictures. I was thankful to God that I found the place and that it was so perfect.
I also wrote KLTY Christmas Wish thanking them and telling them the story of our last year Christmas. They used it to help with this years promo. I was so glad to help in some way. Last week I went in studio to film the story. It's not being used yet and probably won't be until next year but it feels so good to be able to do something in return for all that was done for us.
Despite all the pain I've lived with this year, I have to acknowledge that God has been so good to me. I've been given just what I need to get through each and every day. God's grace and mercy have been evident to me every single day. I'm thankful. I could not imagine going through this without faith in God. I know that not a day will go by that I don't miss my beautiful girl but I'm so glad that I have the hope that we will see each other again. That one day I'll meet her in that wonderful place and she'll introduce me to Jesus and show me around. I've never been so homesick before. Until my time though I hope that I can live a life that will honor both my God and my Hannah.
I sincerely thank all of you for your continued prayers and support. We wouldn't make it without you. Thank you!
Dear God, It's me....Marcey. Thank you for your constant care and provision. We couldn't do this without you. Give my girl a hug and kiss and tell her Merry Christmas for me please! Oh, and if you could, would you sing, "Santa Claus is coming to town"? Be sure to make the boo hoo sounds and pouty face too! I'm sure she'd appreciate it if you had Sponge Bob on your cake this year too. Thank you Lord for being born and dying. Because you came and gave your life I can see my girl again. Thank You! All my love, Marcey
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Some Say...(a poem about turning 40)
Some Say...
(A poem about turning 40)
Written by: Marcey Chapman
Some say… 40 is over the hill.
The thought of it gives me the chills.
I’m 40, will I fall apart?
Just how does the disaster of 40 start!?!?!
Will it start with ugly shoes?
Will there be any clues?
Dear God, will I go insane?
How long do I have before using a cane?
Hot Flashes compared to an atomic bomb?
Please people, I’m trying to stay calm!
This is all such terrible news!
I’m really hoping it’s all just a ruse.
~ ~ ~ ~
Some Say… 4o is when life begins.
That thought sure makes me grin!
40 is the new 20 I have heard
I’ll take it even though it borders on absurd.
You’ll get smarter as you get older an article read.
Great news considering I have fog in my head.
Happier, Passionate, and more confident you’ll be
That’s sure something I can’t wait to see.
Really, you can take care of yourself without feeling guilt?
Wow, how cool, I’ll no longer have to wilt!
This is all Wonderful news!
Plus it doesn’t involve those durn ugly shoes!
~ ~ ~ ~
Even if what some say is a con
I say… 40…eh…bring it on!
We’re not promised tomorrow, this I know well
I think I’ll just live and 40 will be swell!
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Hope, Faith, believe
You know, life just keeps going and sometimes you have to consciously make a choice to live in it. That's where I've been lately. Some weeks I want to let myself lay around and lick my wounds and use all the very valid excuses I have for not being an active participant in this life. That's not me though. I may want to do that, but it's not in me to. I've always held onto an ounce of hope no matter the circumstances and it remains that way even to this day. Hope keeps me alive literally.
Sometimes I have great hope but a lot of times it's just an ounce. You know the passage that talks about faith as the grain of a mustard seed. A grain is not a lot of seed. Hope and faith are pretty closely knit together I think. I like this definition of hope: to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence; to believe, desire, or trust. And I like this one for faith: strong or unshakable belief in something, esp without proof or evidence. I love that both definitions deal with believing. Believing: to have confidence in the truth, the existence, or the reliability of something, although without absolute proof that one is right in doing so. In other words, the act of believing is a choice you make. You decide to believe or not. You also get to decide whether to have hope and faith. It is a choice we make. Knowing that it's my choice puts it in perspective for me. Nothing like having the ball in your court.
I've never been one for excuses. I've always been the "buck stops here" kind of personality. It's been to a fault in that I sometimes, many times, take the blame for things that are clearly not in my control to manage. I've been through a lot in my lifetime. I've been greatly disappointed and let down by people I love. I've disappointed and failed myself, let people down, and saw dreams crushed and became disillusioned. We all have at some point, haven't we? I mean, it's life. It's what happens. It's part of humanity. So, what do we do with that? We have to make a choice, that's what. Life goes on with or without us. We can sit and let it go on while we waste away in misery, or we can reach within ourselves and grab any semblance of hope and faith to help us begin again.
That's a choice I make regularly. I've lost a child and I'm not even 40 yet. I've had three beautiful children and one of them has passed through this life before me. It's not easy folks. It's a heartache like none I can even begin to describe to you. My life as I knew it died with Hannah. I can't go back to the Marcey I was before Hannah. She's long gone. The Marcey I was with Hannah is long gone as well. I either die or I create a new Marcey. Not many people will understand that because unless you have been there it's just not something you can fathom. All the old pieces are still there but they have new roles in my new life. They do not play the role they once did. Recreation makes people uncomfortable. They get used to the way things are and when they change it's upsetting. I pray that my family and friends will just understand and show me some grace as I travel this road in my life. I love all of you so.
God keeps putting people and opportunities in my path that are leading me right back to my dreams. I am currently working for Total Transition Services part time. We help disabled adults secure employment and it's a really rewarding job. Lots of working with the disabled and teaching/training which I love to do. I also just visited with the Executive director of CWJC(Christian Women's Job Corp) here in Arlington and will be volunteering with them some too. They help women in need acquire skills for jobs and life. It's an incredible program and I'm so excited about getting to work with other women. I will even be helping build a new website for them. I start back to college in January and that is exciting to me as you all know. I LOVE school. LOL! Can't wait. Life just keeps happening and I'm in awe of how it all works out. Good and bad all mixed together but somehow it just all works. The theme "God works all things for good to those who love him" just seems to weave itself into every part of our life.
All that being said, we miss Hannah unbelievably. A memorial bench is being placed at her school and the dedication is next week. It's hard to believe we're close to a year since she passed away. I want her with me, I do, but I can't have her with me physically so I keep her with me every way I can emotionally and spiritually. I carry her in my heart and she continues to inspire everything I do. I thank God EVERY day for the time I had with her. Being part of the Dravet family I know parents who did not have nearly 9 years with their precious child. I'm grateful. I have my pity days for sure but it all comes back to thanksgiving eventually for I know God was merciful to Hannah and to us through it all.
This is what happens when I don't write for a while. I write a book. I ramble and am all over the place. Thank you all for your support and prayers and please keep them coming. Love you all! God Bless!
Hello God...It's Marcey. I want to thank you for inspiring hope and faith in my life and giving me the ability to hold on to it when it should be an impossibility. Thank you for your grace and mercy, your guiding hand and gentle voice in my times of need. Lord, please continue to order my steps and bring comfort to my hurting heart. Thank you for your word. It brings comfort and courage to my world. All my love...Marcey
Sometimes I have great hope but a lot of times it's just an ounce. You know the passage that talks about faith as the grain of a mustard seed. A grain is not a lot of seed. Hope and faith are pretty closely knit together I think. I like this definition of hope: to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence; to believe, desire, or trust. And I like this one for faith: strong or unshakable belief in something, esp without proof or evidence. I love that both definitions deal with believing. Believing: to have confidence in the truth, the existence, or the reliability of something, although without absolute proof that one is right in doing so. In other words, the act of believing is a choice you make. You decide to believe or not. You also get to decide whether to have hope and faith. It is a choice we make. Knowing that it's my choice puts it in perspective for me. Nothing like having the ball in your court.
I've never been one for excuses. I've always been the "buck stops here" kind of personality. It's been to a fault in that I sometimes, many times, take the blame for things that are clearly not in my control to manage. I've been through a lot in my lifetime. I've been greatly disappointed and let down by people I love. I've disappointed and failed myself, let people down, and saw dreams crushed and became disillusioned. We all have at some point, haven't we? I mean, it's life. It's what happens. It's part of humanity. So, what do we do with that? We have to make a choice, that's what. Life goes on with or without us. We can sit and let it go on while we waste away in misery, or we can reach within ourselves and grab any semblance of hope and faith to help us begin again.
That's a choice I make regularly. I've lost a child and I'm not even 40 yet. I've had three beautiful children and one of them has passed through this life before me. It's not easy folks. It's a heartache like none I can even begin to describe to you. My life as I knew it died with Hannah. I can't go back to the Marcey I was before Hannah. She's long gone. The Marcey I was with Hannah is long gone as well. I either die or I create a new Marcey. Not many people will understand that because unless you have been there it's just not something you can fathom. All the old pieces are still there but they have new roles in my new life. They do not play the role they once did. Recreation makes people uncomfortable. They get used to the way things are and when they change it's upsetting. I pray that my family and friends will just understand and show me some grace as I travel this road in my life. I love all of you so.
God keeps putting people and opportunities in my path that are leading me right back to my dreams. I am currently working for Total Transition Services part time. We help disabled adults secure employment and it's a really rewarding job. Lots of working with the disabled and teaching/training which I love to do. I also just visited with the Executive director of CWJC(Christian Women's Job Corp) here in Arlington and will be volunteering with them some too. They help women in need acquire skills for jobs and life. It's an incredible program and I'm so excited about getting to work with other women. I will even be helping build a new website for them. I start back to college in January and that is exciting to me as you all know. I LOVE school. LOL! Can't wait. Life just keeps happening and I'm in awe of how it all works out. Good and bad all mixed together but somehow it just all works. The theme "God works all things for good to those who love him" just seems to weave itself into every part of our life.
All that being said, we miss Hannah unbelievably. A memorial bench is being placed at her school and the dedication is next week. It's hard to believe we're close to a year since she passed away. I want her with me, I do, but I can't have her with me physically so I keep her with me every way I can emotionally and spiritually. I carry her in my heart and she continues to inspire everything I do. I thank God EVERY day for the time I had with her. Being part of the Dravet family I know parents who did not have nearly 9 years with their precious child. I'm grateful. I have my pity days for sure but it all comes back to thanksgiving eventually for I know God was merciful to Hannah and to us through it all.
This is what happens when I don't write for a while. I write a book. I ramble and am all over the place. Thank you all for your support and prayers and please keep them coming. Love you all! God Bless!
Hello God...It's Marcey. I want to thank you for inspiring hope and faith in my life and giving me the ability to hold on to it when it should be an impossibility. Thank you for your grace and mercy, your guiding hand and gentle voice in my times of need. Lord, please continue to order my steps and bring comfort to my hurting heart. Thank you for your word. It brings comfort and courage to my world. All my love...Marcey
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Welcome to "Hello God...It's Me...Marcey"
Kind of a strange name for a blog I know. I did love Judy Blume's book "Dear God, It's Me, Margaret" when I was a kid, and I think she's a phenomenal writer; however, my "hello God" was not inspired by her writings. The title was inspired by my conversations with God on a daily basis. Yep, I start them with "Hello God, It's me, Marcey". In this season of my life my faith is transforming and becoming very personal. It's been and is an incredible journey. My writings will not always be prayers, but my faith will be a huge part of what I write. Honestly, I don't know what the subject of this blog will be. I think it'll just be about MY life.
I'm living.
Obviously, right? Well, in January I buried my 8 yr old daughter Hannah. She had a severe form of epilepsy called Dravet syndrome. The last two years of her life were touch and go. We had 12 hospitalizations and 7 of those were care flight trips to the Children's hospital. We'd have to drive an hour to be with her, and never know if she'd be alive when we got there. On January 17th we had to make the decision to let her go. She passed away in our arms at 5:15 p.m. on a Sunday afternoon. I can promise you that the fact that I am living is surprising to me. I would have never thought I could survive this heartache. I have so far though, and I think I will continue to, if I take it one breath at a time. I've been puzzled how we can have some the best of times right smack in the middle of the worst of times. Do you know what I mean? It's like I'm living a parent's greatest nightmare, but in the midst of that nightmare some awesome things are happening. Sometimes I catch myself "living" as if I never lost Hannah. At times that makes me feel guilty and I'll even halt my "living". Grief is totally not what I ever imagined it to be. It comes in waves and those waves crash down on you when you least expect it. It will take your breath and make you think you're drowning. It's not constant though and I guess that's what gets me sometimes. Not being in constant pain can be misunderstood by those who have suffered a great loss, especially the loss of their child. Well meaning friends and family sometimes add to the confusion. I've been told I was in denial because I appeared happy about something. I've also been told I was in chronic grief because someone thought I should be over it already. Just for the record, it's been 7 months for me, and my grieving has been all over the place. I don't think there is a set way it's to be done. It's personal and has to be done the way you need to do it. Lets just say...Grief is complicated. A lot of this blog will probably be about me trying to figure out what life is supposed to look like for me now. It's a hard place. One thing I do know, is that I will continue to "live", if for no other reason, than to honor my Hannah. That girl LOVED life. I just need to figure out what that "life" looks like without her present in this world with me. Not an easy task folks.
I'm loving.
Boy am I ever loving. I love my new house. It is the perfect home for our family at this time in our lives. We are enjoying the country feel our home has smack in the middle of the city. Having a park with walking trails around the block is awesome. All our neighbors are wonderful and we couldn't ask for anything more than what we have right now. Living in the city is great. Everything you need is within blocks. No more long drives to doctors, work, or shopping. I love Target. :) I love my creative life group. The ladies in it are amazing and I do not know how I would have made it without them the last 7 mths. I love going to church and the way I leave inspired to be a better follower of Christ. The pastor always leaves me with something to think about all during the week. I love our Sunday School class. We shouldn't belong there but we've been accepted as part of the group. That acceptance means a lot to us. We needed this particular group of people at this time in our life and are so thankful they were willing to allow "misfits" in their midst. I am loving having friends. I've always had friends but more on the surface level. I've been fortunate to gain a few that love me and embrace me just where I'm at. It's a great feeling.
I will always love my Hannah. She changed my life and it was for the good. I can spend hours writing what she meant to me and how she changed my life but I won't. Today, anyway. Today, I'll just type the lyrics to our favorite little song. It's sung to the tune of the old hymn, "I love My Savior". It goes like this...."I love my Hannah, she loves me too, I love my Hannah, in everything we do." That's the truth. I loved/love that girl completely. I love my Koolio. I would have never thought I'd love an animal so much. In so many ways he's a little part of Hannah that I still have with me. Koolio is an incredibly, smart, goofy dog that fits perfectly in this family. I'm so glad we have him. I love my boys and I'm so proud of the way they have handled Hannah's death. I know how much they loved their sister. I know that they miss her horribly. They could use this tragedy to justify any behavior they wanted to at this time but both are choosing to honor her memory by working hard to fulfill their dreams. I have some pretty awesome young men if you ask me.
I love my David. I married this man 20 years ago and there was no way to foresee the life we'd have together. It's not been an easy one. We've sacrificed much time together for the sake of making a living and taking care of Hannah. I can't even begin to tell you the sacrifices this man made for his little girl. Through the tragedy of Hannah's death I have clung to him like a life line. He has let me. If anyone can even come close to knowing how I feel, it is him. He loved our girl completely. Sometimes I'm unreasonable, I can't put what I'm feeling into words, I forget things, and I just meltdown out of the blue for no rhyme or reason. He hangs tough and when I'm able, I know I can search him out to talk about it or just be comforted. We've lost a child and for a lot of couples that's too much. I'm thankful for a committed husband who will do anything it takes to work through what we're going through. I look forward to our future together even in the midst of our tragedy. I know that I have a deeper love and appreciation for David than I ever did before. He is my knight and I am grateful for him.
Finally, I can't say that I love this person yet, but I want to. That person is myself and to say I even want to love myself is progress. I'm learning it's not selfish to love yourself after all. It's healthy and you can't love others to the best of your ability if you don't love yourself. So, I'm working to move in that direction. It's a very slow pace. Too many years of giving everything I have in me to others and having boundaries that need to be shifted, torn down, and resurrected. It's a journey y'all. Fun sometimes and others...not so much. I'm committed though.
I'm Learning
I crave knowledge. I will read just about anything, anytime, anywhere. I am extremely observant. Yep, I'm often called nosey. :) I love to learn. Having Hannah I was constantly learning something about her conditions. Ironically the only thing I did not find interesting about Hannah's conditions was that she had them. You would never wish or want your child to deal with the things my Hannah did. That being said, I found and still find the whole behavior and brain science world fascinating. Do you know that even the most damaged brain can still learn?(every blog posting has to have a rabbit trail right? :<) ) I really think I'm fortunate to love the one thing that we as humans can always do. You can never learn everything. There really aren't any "know it alls" in this world. Learning is a joy I'll have my entire lifetime. My experiences in this life have not always been enjoyable. That's kind of an understatement actually. I know pain all too well. Still, I think that having the ability to learn even in the hardest of times has been a blessing to me. I am grateful I love to learn.
In conclusion
This was a long introduction I realize. I just couldn't stop once I started. :) What a conclusion! LOL!
Hello God...It's me...Marcey
Your word says in Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." Thank you for calling me and for the promise that no matter what happens in this life you can and will make it GOOD. All my love, Marcey
I'm living.
Obviously, right? Well, in January I buried my 8 yr old daughter Hannah. She had a severe form of epilepsy called Dravet syndrome. The last two years of her life were touch and go. We had 12 hospitalizations and 7 of those were care flight trips to the Children's hospital. We'd have to drive an hour to be with her, and never know if she'd be alive when we got there. On January 17th we had to make the decision to let her go. She passed away in our arms at 5:15 p.m. on a Sunday afternoon. I can promise you that the fact that I am living is surprising to me. I would have never thought I could survive this heartache. I have so far though, and I think I will continue to, if I take it one breath at a time. I've been puzzled how we can have some the best of times right smack in the middle of the worst of times. Do you know what I mean? It's like I'm living a parent's greatest nightmare, but in the midst of that nightmare some awesome things are happening. Sometimes I catch myself "living" as if I never lost Hannah. At times that makes me feel guilty and I'll even halt my "living". Grief is totally not what I ever imagined it to be. It comes in waves and those waves crash down on you when you least expect it. It will take your breath and make you think you're drowning. It's not constant though and I guess that's what gets me sometimes. Not being in constant pain can be misunderstood by those who have suffered a great loss, especially the loss of their child. Well meaning friends and family sometimes add to the confusion. I've been told I was in denial because I appeared happy about something. I've also been told I was in chronic grief because someone thought I should be over it already. Just for the record, it's been 7 months for me, and my grieving has been all over the place. I don't think there is a set way it's to be done. It's personal and has to be done the way you need to do it. Lets just say...Grief is complicated. A lot of this blog will probably be about me trying to figure out what life is supposed to look like for me now. It's a hard place. One thing I do know, is that I will continue to "live", if for no other reason, than to honor my Hannah. That girl LOVED life. I just need to figure out what that "life" looks like without her present in this world with me. Not an easy task folks.
I'm loving.
Boy am I ever loving. I love my new house. It is the perfect home for our family at this time in our lives. We are enjoying the country feel our home has smack in the middle of the city. Having a park with walking trails around the block is awesome. All our neighbors are wonderful and we couldn't ask for anything more than what we have right now. Living in the city is great. Everything you need is within blocks. No more long drives to doctors, work, or shopping. I love Target. :) I love my creative life group. The ladies in it are amazing and I do not know how I would have made it without them the last 7 mths. I love going to church and the way I leave inspired to be a better follower of Christ. The pastor always leaves me with something to think about all during the week. I love our Sunday School class. We shouldn't belong there but we've been accepted as part of the group. That acceptance means a lot to us. We needed this particular group of people at this time in our life and are so thankful they were willing to allow "misfits" in their midst. I am loving having friends. I've always had friends but more on the surface level. I've been fortunate to gain a few that love me and embrace me just where I'm at. It's a great feeling.
I will always love my Hannah. She changed my life and it was for the good. I can spend hours writing what she meant to me and how she changed my life but I won't. Today, anyway. Today, I'll just type the lyrics to our favorite little song. It's sung to the tune of the old hymn, "I love My Savior". It goes like this...."I love my Hannah, she loves me too, I love my Hannah, in everything we do." That's the truth. I loved/love that girl completely. I love my Koolio. I would have never thought I'd love an animal so much. In so many ways he's a little part of Hannah that I still have with me. Koolio is an incredibly, smart, goofy dog that fits perfectly in this family. I'm so glad we have him. I love my boys and I'm so proud of the way they have handled Hannah's death. I know how much they loved their sister. I know that they miss her horribly. They could use this tragedy to justify any behavior they wanted to at this time but both are choosing to honor her memory by working hard to fulfill their dreams. I have some pretty awesome young men if you ask me.
I love my David. I married this man 20 years ago and there was no way to foresee the life we'd have together. It's not been an easy one. We've sacrificed much time together for the sake of making a living and taking care of Hannah. I can't even begin to tell you the sacrifices this man made for his little girl. Through the tragedy of Hannah's death I have clung to him like a life line. He has let me. If anyone can even come close to knowing how I feel, it is him. He loved our girl completely. Sometimes I'm unreasonable, I can't put what I'm feeling into words, I forget things, and I just meltdown out of the blue for no rhyme or reason. He hangs tough and when I'm able, I know I can search him out to talk about it or just be comforted. We've lost a child and for a lot of couples that's too much. I'm thankful for a committed husband who will do anything it takes to work through what we're going through. I look forward to our future together even in the midst of our tragedy. I know that I have a deeper love and appreciation for David than I ever did before. He is my knight and I am grateful for him.
Finally, I can't say that I love this person yet, but I want to. That person is myself and to say I even want to love myself is progress. I'm learning it's not selfish to love yourself after all. It's healthy and you can't love others to the best of your ability if you don't love yourself. So, I'm working to move in that direction. It's a very slow pace. Too many years of giving everything I have in me to others and having boundaries that need to be shifted, torn down, and resurrected. It's a journey y'all. Fun sometimes and others...not so much. I'm committed though.
I'm Learning
I crave knowledge. I will read just about anything, anytime, anywhere. I am extremely observant. Yep, I'm often called nosey. :) I love to learn. Having Hannah I was constantly learning something about her conditions. Ironically the only thing I did not find interesting about Hannah's conditions was that she had them. You would never wish or want your child to deal with the things my Hannah did. That being said, I found and still find the whole behavior and brain science world fascinating. Do you know that even the most damaged brain can still learn?(every blog posting has to have a rabbit trail right? :<) ) I really think I'm fortunate to love the one thing that we as humans can always do. You can never learn everything. There really aren't any "know it alls" in this world. Learning is a joy I'll have my entire lifetime. My experiences in this life have not always been enjoyable. That's kind of an understatement actually. I know pain all too well. Still, I think that having the ability to learn even in the hardest of times has been a blessing to me. I am grateful I love to learn.
In conclusion
This was a long introduction I realize. I just couldn't stop once I started. :) What a conclusion! LOL!
Hello God...It's me...Marcey
Your word says in Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." Thank you for calling me and for the promise that no matter what happens in this life you can and will make it GOOD. All my love, Marcey
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