2011-Transformed along the Way

Back in January our church began a year long emphasis with the theme being, "Transformed along the Way, A year long journey to spiritual transformation".  The topics for each section were, "learn, obey, share, love, trust, and worship".  Every section a church challenge was issued.  David and I were very interested in the topics and eagerly looked forward to each service.  I have to admit it was more out of a curiosity of what sermons around themes etc were all about.  It was not a type of ministry we had ever experienced before and I was curious and a little skeptical admittedly.  Wow!  What a year of ministry to us!  I sat amazed week after week that the topics touched right at the core of what was happening in our lives.  We walked away feeling equipped to meet Spiritual challenges and encouraged to seek further understanding when needed.  2011 has definitely been a year long journey to spiritual transformation for me and I'm staying the course for 2012.  That's my number one New Years resolution...to stay the course and let God do His work in my life.

Speaking of church, we are also very fortunate to have a great Sunday School class that we love being a part of.  They have challenged us and encouraged us every time we're together.  We love the study material.  It's just been a God send for us to be part of this group of people and we are so thankful for their acceptance of us even though we don't technically belong with them.  LOL!  Our lives are better because we are in their company on a regular basis.  

All that being said, I have to say that this was the roughest year of my life I believe.  The first year after Hannah's death I kind of lived in a daze.  There was a numbness that settled in and it allowed me to get through that first year and accomplish a lot of things.  The numbness lifted and I was left with the full impact of life without Hannah.  It wasn't pretty.  I have fought a horrible depression and struggled to find any relief.  I have been on a number of anti-depressants, all kinds of supplements, and go to therapy regularly.  I pray and read my Bible daily.  All of these things keep me going and I thank God for their availability to me.  I can't help but think God is trying to teach me something through this experience so I am buckling down for the ride and constantly trying to talk myself out of not jumping from this moving vehicle I call trust. :-) (Corny I know!  LOL) 

I miss Hannah.  It'll be two years on the 17th since I held her in my arms.  It's hard.  I've tried to grieve the right way, say the right things, accept other people's comments and advice with grace.  I've tried to be strong and brave.  I'm human.  I miss my girl.  My world has been turned upside down without her and I'm done with pretending I understand and accept it all.  It's a process to get there and there's no skipping it.  I am going to put one foot in front of the other and trust that God can handle my humanity and pray I have people in my life that can handle me being real.

On to more pleasant things.  Despite this being one of the roughest years of my life it has also been one of the best.  I got a scholarship for school so I've been going to school full time.  I have no idea what I'm going to do, and it's getting close to time for me to make some decisions.  I've thought about psychology only because I love the brain and how it works and I love the idea of working with parents who have kids with disabilities or illnesses.  It would add to my current job in that I'd be able to do psych evals.  I've always wanted to be a teacher too though.  Although teachers in Texas right now are out of work and seeking other degrees so that's something to consider.  At any rate I enjoy school and look forward to continuing my education in whatever area I decide to pursue.

I have a great job.  It's part time but it's been a huge blessing and it's something I enjoy doing.  I'm an independent contractor so it's been interesting learning how all that works.  I enjoy working with my clients and the counselors.  This job was a gift straight from God to me in that it allows me to be around people I care a lot for and I use a lot of my life experience with Hannah in my interactions with them.

The boys are doing great.  Kyle is applying to colleges to transfer for next Fall.  He was inducted into Phi Theta Kappa and is VP.  Zach is in his final semester of his senior year.  He is interning at UTA and thinks that he wants to apply to go there in the Fall.  Can't believe I'm about to have two college students.  I'm too young! LOL!

David is doing well.  He is a member of the Arlington Goodtimes Chorus and is on a number of committees, etc.  He really enjoys it and it's fun to watch him perform. 

Koolio is handsome as ever.  I just love that dog and am so thankful we have him.  He is an extension of Hannah we still have with us.  He's so much fun and such a good boy!  He loves going for runs and walks in the neighborhood.  I can't imagine life without him.

I'm not sure what 2012 holds for me.  My hope is that I would continue to grow in my faith and that I would be able to cultivate more peace in my life.  As 2011 comes to a close my prayer is that in 2012 not a day or moment is taken for granted.  That's the greatest lesson I learned from my sweet angel.  Thank you Hannah!

God Bless you all and Keep you!  Thanks for your continued prayers and support.  Here's to a blessed 2012!

Marcey

Romans 12:2

New International Version (NIV)

² Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Romans 12:2

The Message (MSG)

Romans 12

Place Your Life Before God

 ^1-2 So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.